My “high school sweetheart” popped back into my life for a short time again. He’s visiting the city for no reason. We hung out last night, and guess what I did for the first time? Denied him. Yeah. Go me.

He tore my heart in half and stomped it to dust after two years of being together, but he doesn’t even really know it. Or maybe he does, but whatever. We hooked up from time to time after that, even got back together for another year. But then I left Detroit, moved to Chicago where I knew I could start over. Even though I came to Chicago for college, I have to admit, my biggest motivation to leave was so that I could get away from the ex.

Because I was addicted to him, loved him way too much, but knew he would never feel the same.

Anyway, even after I moved here, we’d see each other from time to time and hook up. He even got a new girlfriend, who he was with, for 8 months…and in that 8 months he cheated on her with me, twice. Yes, I do feel bad about being “the other girl,” but hell, I was still in love with him.

I even got into a new relationship in the spring of 2010. Then when I went home for summer, I cheated on my new guy, with the ex that I STILL wasn’t completely over. It destroyed my new relationship before it really had a chance to blossom.

Maybe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true for some people, but sometimes, shit just happens. And well, I’m not going to let the shit happen anymore. Because as I was hanging out with him yesterday, I just realized how I deserve so much better than my ex could EVER give me, regardless if we were together or not. And I had no desire to get with him.

The only thing I was thinking about the whole time is the guy that I’m currently seeing, and how amazing he is. And how much I miss him, even though it’s only been 2 days since he’s been away. I’ll see him again in a few days, and I can’t wait. I really love what’s happening with us, and I don’t want anything to sabotage it. ESPECIALLY not my stupid ex.

After how much he hurt me in such a drawn out period of time, he really deserved to experience some disappoint last night. He even asked me to stay with him for the night. It was tempting, but for the most part, I knew in my heart what was best. And so I left.

I hope it bothered him, at least a tiny bit.